Fun in the Bathroom

Daddy Baby Monkey is an incredible husband and daddy. I've said it before and as you see I'm not afraid to say it again. He does awesome things like giving me a break everynight when gets home and giving HBM a bath.

One night, whilst I'm effing around in the computer room and DBM is preparing to give HBM a bath, I hear an unexplained commotion.

Out of my foggy consciousness I hear:

"Zoe! Zoe No. Oh GROSS! Jesus! NO NO...oh Zoe OCKEY! OCKEY" (That's our word for ickey).

Silence - then - wait for it -

SPLASH!

The world speeds up into real time again and out comes David with pants hanging down half around his ankles holding Zoe out from him like she's a prairie dog with the plague.

"TOWELS! TOWELS! I need to clean her hands!" he shouts.

I scramble to get towels as he, writhing between hilarity and sheer disgust, begins to explain.

You see, Zoe is just tall enough to fit between DBM's legs when he stands up. DBM stands up to pee. Zoe, being fond of the water spout in the bathtub AND being rather intelligent if I do say so myself, hears water from a "spout" just like the bathtub. Ever the curious little monkey, she goes to investigate.

Here's how it went down.

David begins to pee. HBM toddles between his legs, placing herself strategicallly ah...under the "water faucet". She leans over to see what's going on (sort of like one of those water toys where the bird dips it's head in the water glass). That's when the shouting began. You can IMAGINE what happens when you leans over into the stream. I'll break it down for you. He pee'd on her. Go easy on him, he didn't mean to, but it happened. I'd stake my sanity on the fact it isn't the first this has happened to a child either.

Completely uncaring that her head is now in the "faucet" she decided to dunk her hand in the toilet and see what's going on. That's when the screams of OCKEY OCKEY began.

I just about pee'd my pants when he told me.

There is nothing on this earth that is as much of a three stooges episode as parenting.

That's all.