Well she got 'em. Zoe finally got her two front teeth. She looks freakin' adorable with them.
What she's doing now:
Eating grown up food
Cruising on furniture
Trying to stand and walk
Her words are:
Mama
Dada
Cat
Dog
Truck
Daddums
She can also finally pet the cats nicely.
She's going through some separation anxiety though. Dropping her off in the morning at daycare is getting so hard. I just wanna hold her and stay home with her.
Somedays it's so hard to come to work.
I'm sort of out of words for now...but I'm sure I'll have something more later.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Sunday, November 05, 2006
It's been a while
Sorry it's been a bit since I posted. Things have been nuts. The aforementioned teething has gotten better, but we had Halloween (which did not go AT ALL the way we would have hoped) and my mom had surgery.
She had a mass on her ovary and they did a thorough surgery to be sure it wasn't cancer. Thankd GOD it wasn't, we were all kinda scared. She had been in the hospital since Wednesday and finally got to come home yesterday afternoon.
Her hospital stay is a whole other story for another day.
Back to halloween for a moment. We didn't really get to trick or treat because Zoe's having some trouble with the time change. So we grabbed some dinner, came home and decided to just hand out candy.
Lo and behold this girl that we knew from college shows up...unannounced. Not to trick or treat, but to come in and visit.
Some background on thsi woman. She was ok in college...we got along better than I got along with most of the girls we hung out with (mainly because David had dated all of them) and so back then all was good.
then she graduated and moved away. She came back to visit and I decided to cook some dinner for she and some of out other friends.
Ladies...you'll be with me on this one. As I'm cooking dinner, she comes into my very small kitches and begins to tell me how I should cook the food. Her justification is that she's the fry cook at her daddy's GAS STATION and she knows what she's talking about.
Take away the fact that I was cooking an original reciped. Take away the fact that she was being ungracious. She was BOSSING ME AROUND IN MY OWN KITCHEN.
Fast forward to the night before my wedding. She shows up at my house where my friends, sisters and wedding party ladies are having a little get together. My last night as a bachelorette. Teh bachelor party is raging across the street at the best man's house.
She wasn't invited to the wedding and she SURE as hell wasn't invited to the party. Yet in she came and my GOD she stayed. She kidnapped my maid of honor and kept her out until 4 in the morning.
Then she invited herself to the weddings.
So in she comes to my house on my daughers first Halloween and her kid is SICK. He snotty and has that loose mucousy cough. I said very plainly that if he was sick the kids needed to be kept separate because Zoe gets so sick so fast.
Nope, he wasn't sick she said. She stayed for two hours. I got up and went to Walmart at one point I was so pissed. When I got back her son was taking Zoe's toys and hitting her and pushing her down.
she didn't do a DAMN thing. I had to be the one to tell him to stop time and time again.
I finally said I needed to work and she left. I never want her in my house again.
She drives me freakin' crazy.
She had a mass on her ovary and they did a thorough surgery to be sure it wasn't cancer. Thankd GOD it wasn't, we were all kinda scared. She had been in the hospital since Wednesday and finally got to come home yesterday afternoon.
Her hospital stay is a whole other story for another day.
Back to halloween for a moment. We didn't really get to trick or treat because Zoe's having some trouble with the time change. So we grabbed some dinner, came home and decided to just hand out candy.
Lo and behold this girl that we knew from college shows up...unannounced. Not to trick or treat, but to come in and visit.
Some background on thsi woman. She was ok in college...we got along better than I got along with most of the girls we hung out with (mainly because David had dated all of them) and so back then all was good.
then she graduated and moved away. She came back to visit and I decided to cook some dinner for she and some of out other friends.
Ladies...you'll be with me on this one. As I'm cooking dinner, she comes into my very small kitches and begins to tell me how I should cook the food. Her justification is that she's the fry cook at her daddy's GAS STATION and she knows what she's talking about.
Take away the fact that I was cooking an original reciped. Take away the fact that she was being ungracious. She was BOSSING ME AROUND IN MY OWN KITCHEN.
Fast forward to the night before my wedding. She shows up at my house where my friends, sisters and wedding party ladies are having a little get together. My last night as a bachelorette. Teh bachelor party is raging across the street at the best man's house.
She wasn't invited to the wedding and she SURE as hell wasn't invited to the party. Yet in she came and my GOD she stayed. She kidnapped my maid of honor and kept her out until 4 in the morning.
Then she invited herself to the weddings.
So in she comes to my house on my daughers first Halloween and her kid is SICK. He snotty and has that loose mucousy cough. I said very plainly that if he was sick the kids needed to be kept separate because Zoe gets so sick so fast.
Nope, he wasn't sick she said. She stayed for two hours. I got up and went to Walmart at one point I was so pissed. When I got back her son was taking Zoe's toys and hitting her and pushing her down.
she didn't do a DAMN thing. I had to be the one to tell him to stop time and time again.
I finally said I needed to work and she left. I never want her in my house again.
She drives me freakin' crazy.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Toofer The Road
Good evening listeners and welcome to tonights broadcast.
Tonight we're on location from that dark and strange realm where zebra buffalos roam and everything takes on that sort of fuzzy, can't focus the screen sort of look. It's a place we visited often in our youth but in the late summer of our lives decided we'd had enough of along with other places like Spring Break Ft. Lauderdale and the floor in front of the toilet in our best friends creepy garage apartment.
The place my friends, is Sleep Deprivation Land.
This is what "teething" can do. It's a rather plain, innocuous word isn't it? It's polite, to the point and descriptive. What it DOESN'T do is appropriately convey the effect it can have on your child.
Teething can turn your kid into a screaming, inconsoleable banshee.
Teething can give them a fever, a sore mouth and a diaper rash all at the same time. All of these things my child has right now.
Imagine yourself in this predicament. It would be terrible.
Ok...I'm off to sleep now!
Tonight we're on location from that dark and strange realm where zebra buffalos roam and everything takes on that sort of fuzzy, can't focus the screen sort of look. It's a place we visited often in our youth but in the late summer of our lives decided we'd had enough of along with other places like Spring Break Ft. Lauderdale and the floor in front of the toilet in our best friends creepy garage apartment.
The place my friends, is Sleep Deprivation Land.
This is what "teething" can do. It's a rather plain, innocuous word isn't it? It's polite, to the point and descriptive. What it DOESN'T do is appropriately convey the effect it can have on your child.
Teething can turn your kid into a screaming, inconsoleable banshee.
Teething can give them a fever, a sore mouth and a diaper rash all at the same time. All of these things my child has right now.
Imagine yourself in this predicament. It would be terrible.
Ok...I'm off to sleep now!
Thursday, October 19, 2006
X Ray Vision
If you've been paying any attention lately you've heard me bitching about Zoe's health alot lately. Well, I finally convinced the pediatrician to take some action and they scheduled Zoe for an Upper GI on Tuesday.
She was an absolute doll in the waiting room and was being fawned over by all the old ladies waiting for their osteo scans. She hadn't had anything to eat since midnight so I was praying my good luck held and they would call her back soon.
They did.
And as soon as we got in the room - monkey's special brand of super power showed itself.
As soon as we sat down in the Xray area, she began blowing rasberries at the Xray tech, who was a nice young guy teaching two new X ray techs how to scan infants.
They all thought the rasberries were cute. I thought about warning them, but decided they probably wouldn't believe me anyway.
She looked all around the room with wary interest and a clear "What the fuck am I doing HERE?" sort of expression on her face. The kindly teacher gentleman approached me and let me know what our doctors name would be and proceeded to give this long, somewhat patronizing (and later ironic) speech. It went something like this (imagine a better looking Barney Fife in whites with a really country accent now)
"Ma'am, now don't you worry here. Yer little girl is gowna be just fahn. We do this evUHry day and there's nothing out thar that we cain't handle. You MUST stay behind the glass barrier at all times".
I tried to assure him I wasn't "that" mom and his reponse was "NO NO NO, A'hm thayat kahnda Dad. Ah know how it is".
Ummm...Ok. whatever you just said.
Enter the doctor, who will later name my child Ella Diablo for reasons that will become clear shortly. He is a kindly fellow by the name of Montoyez and I can barely contain my urge to chat "Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to DIE!". He explains the procedure which involves feeding my starving child barium and then taking pictures of her tummy.
I started to feel a little uneasy at this point so I said "Um, I think I should tell you she is VERY strong and VERY stubborn. She doesn't like to be restrained at all". I again got the speech from the kindly doctor Montoyez about how I should remain behind the barrier and they could handle anything that came their way. There were four of them all told. I thought it would be ok.
Now I'm behind the barrier, watching in fascination as my sweet baby's little tummy comes up on the monitor in Xray contrast. I see her little heart and her tiny little fist waving through her ribs. Ok, that part was sort of weird, but it was still cool.
I was so busy watching the barium slide down her esophagus that I only partially heard the struggles coming from the Xray table. They were getting louder though, and harder to ignore.
My fascination was blown all to hell when I heard the doctor call out "WHERE IS SHE??? I can't find her!"
Mommy vision snapped to and I frantically looked past the glass barrier to see the two McXrayTechs scrambling and reaching for her and the doctor grabbing for something.
OUT SHE COMES!!!!
She shot out of that Xray chamber on her hands and knees and almost made it over the edge of the table before they got her.
"Ok Mom, why don't you go ahead and come out here and give us a hand. Lead her up"
I felt like I was in an episode of ER. The attendants put the lead vest on me and tied it while I was striding confidently toward the Xray table where my sweet daughter is now...yep...you guessed...Ella Diablo. She is screaming and crying and twisting and with FOUR of us holding her down we can't get into position to take the damn picture. One more person came over to help position her, making FIVE. After another moment of scuffling with this freakishly strong 10 month old they decided to take a break. It was like trying to play Twister with a snake.
I felt so badly for her. She was crying and scared and hungry.
My ASS they could handle anything that went on out there! The nurses kept coming by and telling me she'd never need a body guard and the doctor needed to take a break because she made him sweat so bad. Yeah, I know...it's kind of pathetic but give him a break, he's only a Radiologist. It's not like he lifts anything much heavier than an XRAY all day!!!
After 10 minutes of soothing I finally got her calmed down and we tried again. We didn't do very well, but it only took four of us this time and we did get a picture.
They were very self congratulating after it was over and complimented me on the strength of my sweetie. I'm sure they felt they'd had their aerobic activity for the day. I'm also sure they all went home and told their families about it.
As for Baby Monkey, they didn't find anything abnormal, which is good. They have switched her meds to something different to see if it works.
God willing we won't have to put her or anyone else through that again!
I told you she was a freakin' superhero!
She was an absolute doll in the waiting room and was being fawned over by all the old ladies waiting for their osteo scans. She hadn't had anything to eat since midnight so I was praying my good luck held and they would call her back soon.
They did.
And as soon as we got in the room - monkey's special brand of super power showed itself.
As soon as we sat down in the Xray area, she began blowing rasberries at the Xray tech, who was a nice young guy teaching two new X ray techs how to scan infants.
They all thought the rasberries were cute. I thought about warning them, but decided they probably wouldn't believe me anyway.
She looked all around the room with wary interest and a clear "What the fuck am I doing HERE?" sort of expression on her face. The kindly teacher gentleman approached me and let me know what our doctors name would be and proceeded to give this long, somewhat patronizing (and later ironic) speech. It went something like this (imagine a better looking Barney Fife in whites with a really country accent now)
"Ma'am, now don't you worry here. Yer little girl is gowna be just fahn. We do this evUHry day and there's nothing out thar that we cain't handle. You MUST stay behind the glass barrier at all times".
I tried to assure him I wasn't "that" mom and his reponse was "NO NO NO, A'hm thayat kahnda Dad. Ah know how it is".
Ummm...Ok. whatever you just said.
Enter the doctor, who will later name my child Ella Diablo for reasons that will become clear shortly. He is a kindly fellow by the name of Montoyez and I can barely contain my urge to chat "Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to DIE!". He explains the procedure which involves feeding my starving child barium and then taking pictures of her tummy.
I started to feel a little uneasy at this point so I said "Um, I think I should tell you she is VERY strong and VERY stubborn. She doesn't like to be restrained at all". I again got the speech from the kindly doctor Montoyez about how I should remain behind the barrier and they could handle anything that came their way. There were four of them all told. I thought it would be ok.
Now I'm behind the barrier, watching in fascination as my sweet baby's little tummy comes up on the monitor in Xray contrast. I see her little heart and her tiny little fist waving through her ribs. Ok, that part was sort of weird, but it was still cool.
I was so busy watching the barium slide down her esophagus that I only partially heard the struggles coming from the Xray table. They were getting louder though, and harder to ignore.
My fascination was blown all to hell when I heard the doctor call out "WHERE IS SHE??? I can't find her!"
Mommy vision snapped to and I frantically looked past the glass barrier to see the two McXrayTechs scrambling and reaching for her and the doctor grabbing for something.
OUT SHE COMES!!!!
She shot out of that Xray chamber on her hands and knees and almost made it over the edge of the table before they got her.
"Ok Mom, why don't you go ahead and come out here and give us a hand. Lead her up"
I felt like I was in an episode of ER. The attendants put the lead vest on me and tied it while I was striding confidently toward the Xray table where my sweet daughter is now...yep...you guessed...Ella Diablo. She is screaming and crying and twisting and with FOUR of us holding her down we can't get into position to take the damn picture. One more person came over to help position her, making FIVE. After another moment of scuffling with this freakishly strong 10 month old they decided to take a break. It was like trying to play Twister with a snake.
I felt so badly for her. She was crying and scared and hungry.
My ASS they could handle anything that went on out there! The nurses kept coming by and telling me she'd never need a body guard and the doctor needed to take a break because she made him sweat so bad. Yeah, I know...it's kind of pathetic but give him a break, he's only a Radiologist. It's not like he lifts anything much heavier than an XRAY all day!!!
After 10 minutes of soothing I finally got her calmed down and we tried again. We didn't do very well, but it only took four of us this time and we did get a picture.
They were very self congratulating after it was over and complimented me on the strength of my sweetie. I'm sure they felt they'd had their aerobic activity for the day. I'm also sure they all went home and told their families about it.
As for Baby Monkey, they didn't find anything abnormal, which is good. They have switched her meds to something different to see if it works.
God willing we won't have to put her or anyone else through that again!
I told you she was a freakin' superhero!
Monday, October 16, 2006
My poor ASS
I can't freaking believe it! I FELL again today. This is the SECOND time I have fallen in three months. The first time was bad...I sprained my ankle. At least so far this time all seems to be ok.
I hydroplaned in our car port. It is smooth concrete and therefore very slippery when damp and WHOOSH...out went my feet from under me!!! Thank GOD mom was holding Zoe...and I can't imagine having fallen with her in my arms. It all happened to fast.
I sort of slid down one leg and onto my butt and then hit my head. I'm ok though. Just fine.
Zoe laughed on my way down and continued to laugh while I lay there.
That's my girl!!!!
I hydroplaned in our car port. It is smooth concrete and therefore very slippery when damp and WHOOSH...out went my feet from under me!!! Thank GOD mom was holding Zoe...and I can't imagine having fallen with her in my arms. It all happened to fast.
I sort of slid down one leg and onto my butt and then hit my head. I'm ok though. Just fine.
Zoe laughed on my way down and continued to laugh while I lay there.
That's my girl!!!!
My Poor Baby Monkey
Well kids...this is it. They are finally going to do a swallow study on Zoe. This is essentially an upper GI for babies.
Mom took her in last week for her 7th cold and 7th ear infection in 6 months and they gave her amoxicillin again and it made her throw up...again. I took her in first thing this morning and they said she may be allergic to penicillin.
We also talked at length about her reflux and they aren't 100% sure that's what it is. It could be something called Pyloric Stenosis and they want to rule that out. This means that her pyloric muscle (valve) may be thicker than it should and that her stomach isn't processing food properly.
It's a good thing, because we'll know for sure if it's reflux or something else and we'll know how to treat it better. But I can't help thinking each day that this kid is already on TOO many medicines and has to deal with too much yucky sickness.
She's such a sweet baby and never complains, and I know when she does crab she must be feeling really badly.
I feel (I hope irrationally) that I am a bad mom because I can't make her better. I gave her these genes and she didn't catch a break in the allergy department and what else could go wrong???
And then I feel guilty because there are babies out there with lukemia and other really bad things and this is a drop in the bucket but it's wearing me down. So I generally feel like a bad mom and a bad person and ungrateful and stupid.
I'm probably just bitching because of rain. It's not about me anyway, it's about her...and that she never feels good. And she doesn't get over one cold before moving on to the next one, or an ear infection, or a stomach virus or a new medicine. It just never ends.
Thank god for Sweet Monkey Baby. I would do anything for her...I just hope to hell she didn't inherit our back problems!
Mom took her in last week for her 7th cold and 7th ear infection in 6 months and they gave her amoxicillin again and it made her throw up...again. I took her in first thing this morning and they said she may be allergic to penicillin.
We also talked at length about her reflux and they aren't 100% sure that's what it is. It could be something called Pyloric Stenosis and they want to rule that out. This means that her pyloric muscle (valve) may be thicker than it should and that her stomach isn't processing food properly.
It's a good thing, because we'll know for sure if it's reflux or something else and we'll know how to treat it better. But I can't help thinking each day that this kid is already on TOO many medicines and has to deal with too much yucky sickness.
She's such a sweet baby and never complains, and I know when she does crab she must be feeling really badly.
I feel (I hope irrationally) that I am a bad mom because I can't make her better. I gave her these genes and she didn't catch a break in the allergy department and what else could go wrong???
And then I feel guilty because there are babies out there with lukemia and other really bad things and this is a drop in the bucket but it's wearing me down. So I generally feel like a bad mom and a bad person and ungrateful and stupid.
I'm probably just bitching because of rain. It's not about me anyway, it's about her...and that she never feels good. And she doesn't get over one cold before moving on to the next one, or an ear infection, or a stomach virus or a new medicine. It just never ends.
Thank god for Sweet Monkey Baby. I would do anything for her...I just hope to hell she didn't inherit our back problems!
Thursday, October 12, 2006
On the road again...
I've been away since Monday and it's starting to get to me. I miss Zoe and David so much and I've been sick the whole time I've been here. Fortunately the conference is in Dallas so I've been staying with my sister and that has been great.
It's good to see her and it's like old times again when we used to live together. There is also a Target down the street and I've done some serious damange to their little girls clothes department. SSSSooooooo cute. So cute. CUTE.
This is going to be short but I"m posting picture, so there! These are from a local communities Pumpkin Festival last weekend.
It's good to see her and it's like old times again when we used to live together. There is also a Target down the street and I've done some serious damange to their little girls clothes department. SSSSooooooo cute. So cute. CUTE.
This is going to be short but I"m posting picture, so there! These are from a local communities Pumpkin Festival last weekend.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Funny Stuff
Here's a fun game to play. Post your answer in a comment please for all to enjoy. You don't have to post anything else but your sentence!
Make a sentence using the criteria below:
Pick the month you were born:
January--I kicked
February--I loved
March--I smoked
April--I dry humped
May--I choked on
June--I murdered
July--I did the Macarena with
August--I had lunch with
September--I danced with
October--I sang to
November--I yelled at
December--I ran over
Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a Mexican
6-------a gangster
7-------my cell phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10-------my neighbor
11-------my science teacher
12-------a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19-------myself
20-------a baseball bat
21-------a ninja
22-------Chuck Norris
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a football player
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------an ipod
29-------a permanent marker
30-------a llama
31-------A homeless guy
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White----------because I'm cool like that.
Black-----------because that's how I roll.
Red------------because the voices told me to.
Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want.
Green---------because I got my sexy back.
Purple---------because I didn't want to get voted off the island.
Gray----------because I was drunk.
Yellow--------because a dingo was about to eat my baby.
Orange-------because I hate my family.
Brown--------because I was high.
Other-------because I'm a ninja.
None--------because I can't control myself.
Make a sentence using the criteria below:
Pick the month you were born:
January--I kicked
February--I loved
March--I smoked
April--I dry humped
May--I choked on
June--I murdered
July--I did the Macarena with
August--I had lunch with
September--I danced with
October--I sang to
November--I yelled at
December--I ran over
Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a Mexican
6-------a gangster
7-------my cell phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10-------my neighbor
11-------my science teacher
12-------a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19-------myself
20-------a baseball bat
21-------a ninja
22-------Chuck Norris
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a football player
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------an ipod
29-------a permanent marker
30-------a llama
31-------A homeless guy
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White----------because I'm cool like that.
Black-----------because that's how I roll.
Red------------because the voices told me to.
Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want.
Green---------because I got my sexy back.
Purple---------because I didn't want to get voted off the island.
Gray----------because I was drunk.
Yellow--------because a dingo was about to eat my baby.
Orange-------because I hate my family.
Brown--------because I was high.
Other-------because I'm a ninja.
None--------because I can't control myself.
Having Another One
I was stalking the Trying to Conceive boards over on Ovusoft today and I couldn't help but miss the excitement of trying for a baby and the wonder of finding out that we were pregnant. I will never forget that day as long as I live.
It was in April, going into the busy season for me at work. I travel alot in June and July every year and it was the beginning of "conference" season. Our nephew Ethan was born on April 5th, and it had been a little rough. I love my sister in law like a blood sister and nothing made me happier for her than to have a healthy child - especially since they fought fertility issues for so long. It was hard though. If my first pregnancy had gone to term we would have followed her with a child of our own in late May. Fuck I still get so sad when I think of that time.
So Rachel had Ethan and we were all in the delivery room positively beaming over Ethan and I was trying so hard not to cry when Rache's mother in law leaned over and said "we'll be here for you in nine months". I was so grateful for that small and completley generous kindness. That day wasn't about me, shouldn't have been about me and here this wonderful woman stopped and was thoughtful enough to comfort me and give me a small amount of grace. And apparently luck too...because we conceived Zoe that week.
David and I were both sicker than dogs with the flu and we laughingly said if we conceived that month it damn sure wouldn't be out of love! It would just be sheer mechanics.
Fast forward to the end of the month and my boss and I were up in the northern part of the state at a conference. I had already tested negative on several pregnancy tests. Jennifer remarked several times that day how men were staring at me and she needed to go places with me more often. I also kept petting my tummy all afternoon absently. I didn't think anything of it until, on our way home, we stopped for a drink and I wanted V8 more than anything I could think of. I'm not really a fan, but the first time I was pregnant I craved the V8 like it was going out of style.
As soon as I got home I ran out to Walmart and picked up some digital pregnancy tests. I took one and OMG it IMMEDIATELY came up PREGNANT. I was a little in shock. I was so sure I wasn't pregnant that month.
David was due home any minute so after quietly calling my mom I went and sat on the porch and waited for him to come home. I was sort of overcome. I was overjoyed and terrified all at the same time. Our marriage barely survived losing our first - we had openly talked about our fears we couldn't survive losing another pregnancy.
He pulled up in our ragged gravel drive and as soon as he was out of the car and on the lawn he looked at me and said "You're pregnant". I don't honestly remember much after that - just some celebrating. It was increcible.
It seems like forever ago. I guess it was almost two years ago...18 months at least.
I can't imagine not having Zoe anymore...I can't remember what we did without her.
I do want to lose about 80 lbs before we have another one, which means it is time to get off my ass and get healthy. I want that so badly but have a hard time encouraging myself. You'd think she'd be enough of an incentive! I just need to get honest and get real about our lifestyle.
When we move in the winter it should be easier.
so thoughts of another are on my brain...whatever will we do?
It was in April, going into the busy season for me at work. I travel alot in June and July every year and it was the beginning of "conference" season. Our nephew Ethan was born on April 5th, and it had been a little rough. I love my sister in law like a blood sister and nothing made me happier for her than to have a healthy child - especially since they fought fertility issues for so long. It was hard though. If my first pregnancy had gone to term we would have followed her with a child of our own in late May. Fuck I still get so sad when I think of that time.
So Rachel had Ethan and we were all in the delivery room positively beaming over Ethan and I was trying so hard not to cry when Rache's mother in law leaned over and said "we'll be here for you in nine months". I was so grateful for that small and completley generous kindness. That day wasn't about me, shouldn't have been about me and here this wonderful woman stopped and was thoughtful enough to comfort me and give me a small amount of grace. And apparently luck too...because we conceived Zoe that week.
David and I were both sicker than dogs with the flu and we laughingly said if we conceived that month it damn sure wouldn't be out of love! It would just be sheer mechanics.
Fast forward to the end of the month and my boss and I were up in the northern part of the state at a conference. I had already tested negative on several pregnancy tests. Jennifer remarked several times that day how men were staring at me and she needed to go places with me more often. I also kept petting my tummy all afternoon absently. I didn't think anything of it until, on our way home, we stopped for a drink and I wanted V8 more than anything I could think of. I'm not really a fan, but the first time I was pregnant I craved the V8 like it was going out of style.
As soon as I got home I ran out to Walmart and picked up some digital pregnancy tests. I took one and OMG it IMMEDIATELY came up PREGNANT. I was a little in shock. I was so sure I wasn't pregnant that month.
David was due home any minute so after quietly calling my mom I went and sat on the porch and waited for him to come home. I was sort of overcome. I was overjoyed and terrified all at the same time. Our marriage barely survived losing our first - we had openly talked about our fears we couldn't survive losing another pregnancy.
He pulled up in our ragged gravel drive and as soon as he was out of the car and on the lawn he looked at me and said "You're pregnant". I don't honestly remember much after that - just some celebrating. It was increcible.
It seems like forever ago. I guess it was almost two years ago...18 months at least.
I can't imagine not having Zoe anymore...I can't remember what we did without her.
I do want to lose about 80 lbs before we have another one, which means it is time to get off my ass and get healthy. I want that so badly but have a hard time encouraging myself. You'd think she'd be enough of an incentive! I just need to get honest and get real about our lifestyle.
When we move in the winter it should be easier.
so thoughts of another are on my brain...whatever will we do?
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
The Hard Truth
Before you have children things like being pooped on, boogers, farting in public and a myriad of other things in that category are not only deemed inappropriate and impolite conversation at dinner, they just aren't done!
I can't tell you how many classy, sexy mothers I know who swore they would never resort to "mom" behaviors eventually endup doing things like smelling their kids butts to see if they've pooped. I do it. You do it. Come on...admit it. I'm a butt smeller.
There are also things you could never imagine that come with having a child. Like having your baby actually throw up a little in your mouth. Oh sure, you can call it nice things like "spit up" but anyone out there with a reflux baby KNOWS it ain't spit up. DON'T SHAKE UP REFLUX BABIE PEOPLE!! They will barf in your mouth.
It's disgusting I know, but that's love for you.
I can't tell you how many classy, sexy mothers I know who swore they would never resort to "mom" behaviors eventually endup doing things like smelling their kids butts to see if they've pooped. I do it. You do it. Come on...admit it. I'm a butt smeller.
There are also things you could never imagine that come with having a child. Like having your baby actually throw up a little in your mouth. Oh sure, you can call it nice things like "spit up" but anyone out there with a reflux baby KNOWS it ain't spit up. DON'T SHAKE UP REFLUX BABIE PEOPLE!! They will barf in your mouth.
It's disgusting I know, but that's love for you.
A Whole New Look...
Anyone who watched last nights episode of Nip/Tuck knows that sometimes changing your look isn't such a good thing. BUT....you may now notice el bloggo looks a little bit differently and that's because like all good techno geeks I'm beta testing the new blogger for them!
If you notice anything weird, please let me know in comments.
If you notice anything weird, please let me know in comments.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Recapturing Your Youth or Something Better
I've just finished reading the daily blog of one of my favorite musicision whom I have a love/hate relationship with and I'm just blown away. He's finally gotten off of his high horse (this guy once actually called me out on the net for called music piracy a Robin Hood class misdemeanor - although he did straighten me out on how much musicians make off each CD and it's ATROCIOUSLY little) and has started writing again.
It made me hurt to read his words. It made me remember back to when I was 19 and falling in love with his music for the first time during one of the most troubled and painful periods in my life.
It made me want to write...again. It also made me realize how much I love this. I'm too ADD to keep a scrapbook, so this is it. It always has been. My poetry was my scrapbook for years because I hated seeing myself in photos but now that I'm happy I can't write poetry anymore.
What does that mean for you? It means you are get the by invitation only (HA) front row seat to my rebirth. I rediscovered that breathy feeling when you read something powerful and remember that even though your stuff will NEVER be as good as what just made you feel all breathy that you are also in the same club as the people you admire.
You're a writer.
It's been ages since I breathed the scent of good words and excitement. It's been years since I've been revved up enough to stop and say "I remember why I loved this"
David has always felt I've wasted my talent and packed away my creativity and although he's mostly right (although I'm really not all that talented) I want to unpack it, dust it off and try again. Maybe it's time to finally finish that short story I've been working on for 13 years.
I've also been surfing the net today and checked out the Post Secret blog. If you've never seen it you should. It's amazing. It's funny, maddening, tragic.
I have terrible heart burn right now and I miss David, who I haven't spoken to all day. Our 4th anniversary is soon. Four years of marriage and 6 years of love together. He's still the coolest person I know and I'm so proud of the fact that we think our daughter is the most fun person to hang around and that on the odd occasion, we spent a Monday evening doing Vodka shots and playing Scrabble.
I won on Monday. I was pretty proud!
He's my best friend, it's that simple. Do you want to know how effing lucky I am? On Sunday I was in a shitty mood and I apologized and his answer was "Baby, even when you're in a bad mood there still isn't anyone on earth I'd rather spend time with". And it wasn't all sappy...it was just...cool. Matter of fact. Just like him.
Talk about taking people as they are...he has more compassion than anyone I've ever met. And somehow I got him to committ the biggest act of compassion ever - he married me!
I am a very lucky girl. Me and HappyBabyMonkey got it made with that man. We are the luckiest girls in the world!
It made me hurt to read his words. It made me remember back to when I was 19 and falling in love with his music for the first time during one of the most troubled and painful periods in my life.
It made me want to write...again. It also made me realize how much I love this. I'm too ADD to keep a scrapbook, so this is it. It always has been. My poetry was my scrapbook for years because I hated seeing myself in photos but now that I'm happy I can't write poetry anymore.
What does that mean for you? It means you are get the by invitation only (HA) front row seat to my rebirth. I rediscovered that breathy feeling when you read something powerful and remember that even though your stuff will NEVER be as good as what just made you feel all breathy that you are also in the same club as the people you admire.
You're a writer.
It's been ages since I breathed the scent of good words and excitement. It's been years since I've been revved up enough to stop and say "I remember why I loved this"
David has always felt I've wasted my talent and packed away my creativity and although he's mostly right (although I'm really not all that talented) I want to unpack it, dust it off and try again. Maybe it's time to finally finish that short story I've been working on for 13 years.
I've also been surfing the net today and checked out the Post Secret blog. If you've never seen it you should. It's amazing. It's funny, maddening, tragic.
I have terrible heart burn right now and I miss David, who I haven't spoken to all day. Our 4th anniversary is soon. Four years of marriage and 6 years of love together. He's still the coolest person I know and I'm so proud of the fact that we think our daughter is the most fun person to hang around and that on the odd occasion, we spent a Monday evening doing Vodka shots and playing Scrabble.
I won on Monday. I was pretty proud!
He's my best friend, it's that simple. Do you want to know how effing lucky I am? On Sunday I was in a shitty mood and I apologized and his answer was "Baby, even when you're in a bad mood there still isn't anyone on earth I'd rather spend time with". And it wasn't all sappy...it was just...cool. Matter of fact. Just like him.
Talk about taking people as they are...he has more compassion than anyone I've ever met. And somehow I got him to committ the biggest act of compassion ever - he married me!
I am a very lucky girl. Me and HappyBabyMonkey got it made with that man. We are the luckiest girls in the world!
I hate technology
I wrote you guys this long post about our house of horrors this weekend and it got eaten.
I'll recap:
June 2005 - Moved into new house. Landlord ominously said "We don't have a roach problem"
A year of good living
September 23, 2006 - RAIN RAIN RAIN RAIN RAIN - Two roaches killed by noon.
September 24, 2006 - middle of the night RAIN RAIN RAIN RAIN RAIN RAIN.
Roach on the counter - RIP
Roach on the counter - RIP
Roach on the bedroom wall - RIP
ROACH ON ME IN BED - RIFP
Did I mention this is the second time this has happened?
I hate this house and I can't wait to move out of it.
Zoe is crawling like a champ now and is such a ham I just wish I could video tape her 24 hours a day.
Gotta run for a while, but will post more later.
I'll recap:
June 2005 - Moved into new house. Landlord ominously said "We don't have a roach problem"
A year of good living
September 23, 2006 - RAIN RAIN RAIN RAIN RAIN - Two roaches killed by noon.
September 24, 2006 - middle of the night RAIN RAIN RAIN RAIN RAIN RAIN.
Roach on the counter - RIP
Roach on the counter - RIP
Roach on the bedroom wall - RIP
ROACH ON ME IN BED - RIFP
Did I mention this is the second time this has happened?
I hate this house and I can't wait to move out of it.
Zoe is crawling like a champ now and is such a ham I just wish I could video tape her 24 hours a day.
Gotta run for a while, but will post more later.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Da Brat
There are many words for what has happened to our child in the past couple of weeks. Some of the euphamisms include "spirited" and "head strong". A really nice one was "dripping with personality". That's the South for you - three more words and 8 more syllables to say what was intended - BRAT.
She's even on the BRAT diet right now for God's sake.
If you've been reading you know that she's been sick for over two weeks now, first with a respiratory infection and then a stomach virus. The genius parents (that's me and David by the way) took her off of all of her medicine including her ZANTAC. Let's try a hard one...what's Zantac for? Oh...I know, I know (picture me raising my hand Hermione Grainger style while receiving withering but still sexy looks from Snape) - REFLUX.
Thank God for my mother. I was too much of a dumbass to figure out that she wassn't really throwing up anymore! Her reflux had gotten so bad off of her meds that everything was just coming right back out again! So...we add back in the Zantac and low and behold - no more exorcist baby.
The problem now is that she's used to being held, coddled and clucked at. She's grown accustomed in a VERY princess way of being spoken to in phrases like "does the wittle babies tum tum feel bad?" and "ooooh, did you thwow up? It'll be okay baby!" She's been held for pretty much two weeks straight now. Everyone's physically tired of holding her yet that is all she wants. She's even WAVING like a princess.
It's little things that start with crying when you put her down. It's subtle manipulations like the fact that she doesn't want to hold her own bottle now. She has an entourage by God - why SHOULD she?
Then there is the oh-so-Zha-Zha slapping. She slaps your face. You say "NO Zoe". She smiles that sweet smile and looks at the hand your holding. Then she rears the other one back and slaps you silly AGAIN! That one got her put in her crib. Ooooooh did she scream. She did NOT like being put in her room.
Saturday, on a trip to go shopping with Mom and me, Mom decided to sit in the backseat with her. Zoe screamed for at least 20 minutes while holding out her arms to be picked up. Mom stuck to her guns and said no. That's when the staring started. Zoe stared so hard at her Mom finally had to just turn away and look out the window. I could see her in the rearview and was honestly afraid flames might shoot out of those eyes and smite my Mom right then and there. She looked a little like that asshole baby from "Who Framed Roger Rabit". All you needed was a cigarette and you would have had a damn fine villain on your hands.
So, the staring continues. And continues until we finally figure out about a half hour later the little lady has fallen asleep with her eyes open! That's my girl! She's studying up to be a part of the circus already!
The last straw was last night, right before bed. We fed her applesauce, her first real food she could stomach in a week. David couldn't get it in fast enough. I tried to tell him, I could see the shifting beneath her eyes and then it happened....
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
She effing GROWLED at him! It was hysterical. It made me wonder what I'd do when her first curse word came out. It was sooo hard not to laugh. But we made it. Baby Monkey went down for the night. But not, as you can imagine, without adding her two cents.
She's even on the BRAT diet right now for God's sake.
If you've been reading you know that she's been sick for over two weeks now, first with a respiratory infection and then a stomach virus. The genius parents (that's me and David by the way) took her off of all of her medicine including her ZANTAC. Let's try a hard one...what's Zantac for? Oh...I know, I know (picture me raising my hand Hermione Grainger style while receiving withering but still sexy looks from Snape) - REFLUX.
Thank God for my mother. I was too much of a dumbass to figure out that she wassn't really throwing up anymore! Her reflux had gotten so bad off of her meds that everything was just coming right back out again! So...we add back in the Zantac and low and behold - no more exorcist baby.
The problem now is that she's used to being held, coddled and clucked at. She's grown accustomed in a VERY princess way of being spoken to in phrases like "does the wittle babies tum tum feel bad?" and "ooooh, did you thwow up? It'll be okay baby!" She's been held for pretty much two weeks straight now. Everyone's physically tired of holding her yet that is all she wants. She's even WAVING like a princess.
It's little things that start with crying when you put her down. It's subtle manipulations like the fact that she doesn't want to hold her own bottle now. She has an entourage by God - why SHOULD she?
Then there is the oh-so-Zha-Zha slapping. She slaps your face. You say "NO Zoe". She smiles that sweet smile and looks at the hand your holding. Then she rears the other one back and slaps you silly AGAIN! That one got her put in her crib. Ooooooh did she scream. She did NOT like being put in her room.
Saturday, on a trip to go shopping with Mom and me, Mom decided to sit in the backseat with her. Zoe screamed for at least 20 minutes while holding out her arms to be picked up. Mom stuck to her guns and said no. That's when the staring started. Zoe stared so hard at her Mom finally had to just turn away and look out the window. I could see her in the rearview and was honestly afraid flames might shoot out of those eyes and smite my Mom right then and there. She looked a little like that asshole baby from "Who Framed Roger Rabit". All you needed was a cigarette and you would have had a damn fine villain on your hands.
So, the staring continues. And continues until we finally figure out about a half hour later the little lady has fallen asleep with her eyes open! That's my girl! She's studying up to be a part of the circus already!
The last straw was last night, right before bed. We fed her applesauce, her first real food she could stomach in a week. David couldn't get it in fast enough. I tried to tell him, I could see the shifting beneath her eyes and then it happened....
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
She effing GROWLED at him! It was hysterical. It made me wonder what I'd do when her first curse word came out. It was sooo hard not to laugh. But we made it. Baby Monkey went down for the night. But not, as you can imagine, without adding her two cents.
Friday, September 15, 2006
The Sleeping Sickness...
I do not know how to describe the past two weeks. They have been filled with a sick baby that just keeps getting sicker and the family who is just getting sicker with her.
It all started as a cold, then a respiratory infection. As that got better then came the stomach virus. That start last Saturday morning and hasn't stopped yet. The poor thing hasn't had anything substantial to eat in nearly a week. We're trying the BRAT diet and boy let me tell you, it does indeed make her a BRAT! Hell, I'd be bratty too if you made me drink formula with pedia like and eat things like bananas, toast, rice, etc.
David's been sick, I've been sick and then pinched a nerve in my shoulder.
Just when I got to the end of my rope I get an email from a colleague who also has a daughter in daycare with Zoe. It appears there is a kid who's been sick with a bacterial infection for MONTHS. His father never takes him to the doctor and my colleagues theory (she's a biologist by the way, to lend her some credibility) is that this kid is making all of our kids sick. I'll tell you, I'm buying it becuase Zoe has been sick non stop since she got into daycare and has been on antiobiotics pretty much constantly. It hasn't made any sense...but I had no idea this kid wasn't getting medical attention.
I'm so pissed about the whole thing, and so is my colleague that we are going to only start paying for daycare the days that our kids are well enough to be there. We are the responsible ones, WE are the ones taking our children to the doctor. It's not our fault that daycare only enforces their wellness policy when it revolves around diarrhea or a kid who is vomiting! What's a little mucous among friends?
I'll tell you what it is...it's bacterial pneunomia in a 7 month old and chronic ear infections and reactive lungs in a 9 month old!
I'm going to start billing this fucker who won't take HIS kid to the doctor for MY time away from work, MY doctors visits and MY kids prescriptions.
All the while these poor kids who have responsible parents are living with sick children that don't have to be.
That's my rant for the day. Don't think we're just bitching to bitch here. We're writing a letter and meeting with the center owner (there currently is no director) about enforcing their policy. I don't care if I have to stay home with zoe when she's sick...but she's been sent home for having loose bowels while that little petri dish sits and slobbers all over the other kids at will.
The good news now - Happy Baby Monkey has finally mastered crawling!!!!! Grandma can relax!!! The brain is developing right on schedule!
It all started as a cold, then a respiratory infection. As that got better then came the stomach virus. That start last Saturday morning and hasn't stopped yet. The poor thing hasn't had anything substantial to eat in nearly a week. We're trying the BRAT diet and boy let me tell you, it does indeed make her a BRAT! Hell, I'd be bratty too if you made me drink formula with pedia like and eat things like bananas, toast, rice, etc.
David's been sick, I've been sick and then pinched a nerve in my shoulder.
Just when I got to the end of my rope I get an email from a colleague who also has a daughter in daycare with Zoe. It appears there is a kid who's been sick with a bacterial infection for MONTHS. His father never takes him to the doctor and my colleagues theory (she's a biologist by the way, to lend her some credibility) is that this kid is making all of our kids sick. I'll tell you, I'm buying it becuase Zoe has been sick non stop since she got into daycare and has been on antiobiotics pretty much constantly. It hasn't made any sense...but I had no idea this kid wasn't getting medical attention.
I'm so pissed about the whole thing, and so is my colleague that we are going to only start paying for daycare the days that our kids are well enough to be there. We are the responsible ones, WE are the ones taking our children to the doctor. It's not our fault that daycare only enforces their wellness policy when it revolves around diarrhea or a kid who is vomiting! What's a little mucous among friends?
I'll tell you what it is...it's bacterial pneunomia in a 7 month old and chronic ear infections and reactive lungs in a 9 month old!
I'm going to start billing this fucker who won't take HIS kid to the doctor for MY time away from work, MY doctors visits and MY kids prescriptions.
All the while these poor kids who have responsible parents are living with sick children that don't have to be.
That's my rant for the day. Don't think we're just bitching to bitch here. We're writing a letter and meeting with the center owner (there currently is no director) about enforcing their policy. I don't care if I have to stay home with zoe when she's sick...but she's been sent home for having loose bowels while that little petri dish sits and slobbers all over the other kids at will.
The good news now - Happy Baby Monkey has finally mastered crawling!!!!! Grandma can relax!!! The brain is developing right on schedule!
Friday, September 08, 2006
Visitors
I check site meter pretty frequently (that's the little icon you see at the bottom of the blog) and I see I've got some regular visitors. That makes me really happy that you guys keep coming back to read. I'd love to hear from you so feel free to post a comment or two when you stop by.
I've got it set up so that you have to "verify" your comment by typing in some text that appears on the screen, but that's just to stop random ads in the form of comments. This is my way of keeping everyone up to date, and I'd love to have some feedback from you!
I've got it set up so that you have to "verify" your comment by typing in some text that appears on the screen, but that's just to stop random ads in the form of comments. This is my way of keeping everyone up to date, and I'd love to have some feedback from you!
Randomness
Life has been tough these days at Maison de HappyBabyMonkey. Poor little girl is sick again. It seems that whenever she catches a cold it goes straight into her lungs and we are back to wheezing and breathing treatments. I was pretty proud of myself though...I successfully argued against the random assignment of antiobiotics and those terrible long nebulizer treatments in lieu of some cough syrup and an albuterol inhaler. Took her back today and although she'll need a mild antiobiotic to help clear up her lungs we won't have to nebulize her. We'll just have the rescue inhaler if she needs it.
I'm sort of spun today. A while ago my dad got contacted about a new job out of the state. Keep in mind that my folks literally live 5 minutes down the street. We've lived this close for going on nine years now. My dad had a really successful phone interview and I've got this feeling that he's probably going to get the job. He's brilliant so of course they should choose him. I would be so happy for him and for my mom but I just can't imagine living without them so close anymore. I know it would tear mom up to be away from Zoe, it would tear me up too but I suppose that is the way of families.
A friend of mine called today to say that she and her husband were starting to try to have kids. she's coming down tomorrow to spend some time with us and see what it's like. They've had pets for a few years and that's as ready as I think you could be.
Well this is a completely unexciting update so boo if you will. I'm working on some film clips to up that should be pretty funny.
It was good to be seen....
I'm sort of spun today. A while ago my dad got contacted about a new job out of the state. Keep in mind that my folks literally live 5 minutes down the street. We've lived this close for going on nine years now. My dad had a really successful phone interview and I've got this feeling that he's probably going to get the job. He's brilliant so of course they should choose him. I would be so happy for him and for my mom but I just can't imagine living without them so close anymore. I know it would tear mom up to be away from Zoe, it would tear me up too but I suppose that is the way of families.
A friend of mine called today to say that she and her husband were starting to try to have kids. she's coming down tomorrow to spend some time with us and see what it's like. They've had pets for a few years and that's as ready as I think you could be.
Well this is a completely unexciting update so boo if you will. I'm working on some film clips to up that should be pretty funny.
It was good to be seen....
Thursday, August 24, 2006
It's been a long day...
I wanted to write this two days ago, but I've just now found the time to sit down. Last night I worked until 9 capping off the worst day of a pretty week yet. I was to train the president of the university in one of our new technologies and I don't think I could have bombed harder if I'd tripped over him, grabbed his ass on the way down and farted when I landed. It felt that bad at least. I'm waiting for my paycheck to see if there will be a pink slip in it.
The semester started Wednesday. Zoe also became VERY mobile on Wednesday. I was late to work because she has learned that she can scoot very fast on hardwood and tile floors calling MMMMMMmmmmmmmMMMMAAAAMMMA MAMA MAMAM the whole way. I'm going to have to change my morning routine to getting ready while David is at home still.
As I buckled her into the car and turned off our quiet street to the bustle of start of school traffic I found myself at once proud and appalled at being one of the status quo. It felt downright zen to be one of the Toyota driving soccerish moms out. I couldn't help though but think of who I had been all those years ago - younger and much dumber but also more spontaneous and adventuresome. There are days I really miss that kind of chaos.
Have I told that George and I working together now? I feel really bad for him this week because I have not been a good suite mate, although he's born it with his usual charm, diplomacy and good humor. I couldn't ask for a better colleague or friend. He's really a stand up guy, and I couldn't be prouder for him than of the job he's doing. It's a shit job at first, to be the trainer, because lots of people take advantage of you, but it's that baptism by fire that sorts the wheat from the chaff. He has and will continue to excel because he is good at everything he does.
He's also made our office look really nice.
I'm eating like I'm college again. I made dinner on Monday - whole wheat pasta with white turkey meat sauce, whole wheat rolls and asparagus. A good bottle of wine and dinner at the table. It was nice.
Now we're resorting to five dollar pizza and Grey Goose Martinis. Jesus, I'm even tired of hearing myself whine.
David is doing really well at his new job and Zoe is growing so quickly I can't believe it sometimes. I know that there was life before her, but I"m not sure what it was or what meaning it had. I am so very fortunate to have my family close by and a husband/partner/best friend to share my life with.
Bah. That's enough for today.
The semester started Wednesday. Zoe also became VERY mobile on Wednesday. I was late to work because she has learned that she can scoot very fast on hardwood and tile floors calling MMMMMMmmmmmmmMMMMAAAAMMMA MAMA MAMAM the whole way. I'm going to have to change my morning routine to getting ready while David is at home still.
As I buckled her into the car and turned off our quiet street to the bustle of start of school traffic I found myself at once proud and appalled at being one of the status quo. It felt downright zen to be one of the Toyota driving soccerish moms out. I couldn't help though but think of who I had been all those years ago - younger and much dumber but also more spontaneous and adventuresome. There are days I really miss that kind of chaos.
Have I told that George and I working together now? I feel really bad for him this week because I have not been a good suite mate, although he's born it with his usual charm, diplomacy and good humor. I couldn't ask for a better colleague or friend. He's really a stand up guy, and I couldn't be prouder for him than of the job he's doing. It's a shit job at first, to be the trainer, because lots of people take advantage of you, but it's that baptism by fire that sorts the wheat from the chaff. He has and will continue to excel because he is good at everything he does.
He's also made our office look really nice.
I'm eating like I'm college again. I made dinner on Monday - whole wheat pasta with white turkey meat sauce, whole wheat rolls and asparagus. A good bottle of wine and dinner at the table. It was nice.
Now we're resorting to five dollar pizza and Grey Goose Martinis. Jesus, I'm even tired of hearing myself whine.
David is doing really well at his new job and Zoe is growing so quickly I can't believe it sometimes. I know that there was life before her, but I"m not sure what it was or what meaning it had. I am so very fortunate to have my family close by and a husband/partner/best friend to share my life with.
Bah. That's enough for today.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
She's so unusual
Let m bgin this by saying that th E ky on my laptop is not working. I think given the previous sentenc that was probably prtty obvious. We'll make due.
I had my first truly embarassing moment as a parent. Ok...so we've all figured out that Zoe has her own personality and she's going to do things her way. We've also figurd out that she really digs noises.
Yesterday she discovered that umm, well, straining hard when pooping was fun. She would bare down really hard until her face turned all red and tears came to her eyes (Ok I really nevr knew how many e's I had to typ). It wasn't that sh was constipatd, it was that she COULD do it. She thought it was th bees knees. So sh did it alot. And...well....of course it was frigging PICTURE day at day care. So thy tll m sh was hamming it up for the camera and yup...sho nuff she was doing THE STRAIN!!!!
I can't wait to gt thos picturs. If that wasn't nough...I tak hr into daycare this morning all rd facd and teary and all you can hear as we walk is hre " MMMMNNNNNNNNUUUUHHHHH" as she pushs. No poop mind you....just pushing.
I just know somewher, some mother is blogging about this just like I bloggd about th boogr eating kid.
Karma is a bitch.
Gotta lov this on though....
I had my first truly embarassing moment as a parent. Ok...so we've all figured out that Zoe has her own personality and she's going to do things her way. We've also figurd out that she really digs noises.
Yesterday she discovered that umm, well, straining hard when pooping was fun. She would bare down really hard until her face turned all red and tears came to her eyes (Ok I really nevr knew how many e's I had to typ). It wasn't that sh was constipatd, it was that she COULD do it. She thought it was th bees knees. So sh did it alot. And...well....of course it was frigging PICTURE day at day care. So thy tll m sh was hamming it up for the camera and yup...sho nuff she was doing THE STRAIN!!!!
I can't wait to gt thos picturs. If that wasn't nough...I tak hr into daycare this morning all rd facd and teary and all you can hear as we walk is hre " MMMMNNNNNNNNUUUUHHHHH" as she pushs. No poop mind you....just pushing.
I just know somewher, some mother is blogging about this just like I bloggd about th boogr eating kid.
Karma is a bitch.
Gotta lov this on though....
Thursday, August 10, 2006
The more things change...
I never understood how quickly things could change, and once you noticed that something had changed suddenly you begin to see how other changes have crept slowly into you life. I dropped her off at daycare this morning and she was my baby and when I picked her up she was completely different. She looked completely different. It was the height of her cheeks I think. They went away chubby little dewlaps that framed a particularly adorable gummy smile. When I picked her up they were round little chipmunk cheeks - ripe with the promise of getting into things she shouldn't and budding teeth. Her hair was a little longer and she was just a little more independent that she was yesterday. It's not just me...David noticed it as soon as he pulled in. We were sitting on the front porch, fresh from Zoe's triumph of grasping a tree limb and making the whole tree shake. Fresh from the realization that when she reads Pat the Bunny she CAN play peekaboo with John just like she does with us. David got out of the car and said "She looks like a baby...my God she's changed just today".
From those exclamations we continued our evening - bath, bottle, bed. It was only when I'd sat down to take a bite of my dinner (a peanut butter bagel and orange juice) that I looked up and saw how David had stacked her toys on top of the wicker baskets that hold Zoe things. I realized that slowly, amazingly, beautifully her presence had seeped permanently into my anally clean living room - it had in fact become part of the decor. I thrilled when I realized "this is my family, and this is my home". In that miniscule moment she became a little more mine, we became a little more family and I understood once more that this IS forever. She is our daughter. She is our life and there is no color in the room without her.
Of course there is David and I as a couple...we love each other very much and are careful to make time for that when possible but somehow this tiny little being has truly enjoined us. We spill over into each other through her, the best of both of us and we will never be the same.
Who would want to?
From those exclamations we continued our evening - bath, bottle, bed. It was only when I'd sat down to take a bite of my dinner (a peanut butter bagel and orange juice) that I looked up and saw how David had stacked her toys on top of the wicker baskets that hold Zoe things. I realized that slowly, amazingly, beautifully her presence had seeped permanently into my anally clean living room - it had in fact become part of the decor. I thrilled when I realized "this is my family, and this is my home". In that miniscule moment she became a little more mine, we became a little more family and I understood once more that this IS forever. She is our daughter. She is our life and there is no color in the room without her.
Of course there is David and I as a couple...we love each other very much and are careful to make time for that when possible but somehow this tiny little being has truly enjoined us. We spill over into each other through her, the best of both of us and we will never be the same.
Who would want to?
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